Why We Struggle to Respect Others’ Parenting Health Care Decisions-Microchipping is One Reason

Why do we struggle to respect the health care choices other parents make for their children? I think the answer is: because “their decisions” potentially affect our own children.

Several years ago, one of my students gave a presentation arguing against the use of VeriChip, which are microchip implants placed in humans containing their medical information and/or for mere purposes of identification should the person go missing (they have since been referred to for many other uses as well). Her mother had given permission for a physician to insert the chip into her little sibling’s arm. My student proceeded to give an account of the side effects of the chip implant, including major skin issues including the body identifying the object as foreign as it attempted to push it out through the skin.

I was both revolted and riveted. I was unaware of the chip. Little did I know that the FDA had approved microchipping long before her presentation. This student had primary research and had effectively convinced all of us in the room that VeriChips (now being rebranded as “PositiveID) which are RFID (radio frequency identification) was a grotesque invasion of the human body and basic privacy.

Why did I feel the urge to immediately judge my student’s mother? Because, as one news report previously claimed, all children will be microchipped ‘sooner than later’. This could mean my future grandchildren and I’m wholeheartedly in alignment with my student’s argument against.

Thus, the “it affects ME and MINE” answer to my question why we have trouble respecting others’ parenting health decisions.

I didn’t know the student’s mother but once I began to delve into the topic on my own a bit more, I was appalled. But, if she thought it was beneficial for her son (perhaps he had a chronic condition we are unaware of), I must respect that decision. The issue lies in whether or not someone else’s decision will mandate something in my own family.

For example, when my kids were toddlers and we went for pediatrician visits, it was a fine day out. Sometimes, it was even fun. But as the years wore on, medical staff were required to attend endless conferences where they were given nothing but worse-case scenarios for abuse, disease and reckless human behaviors. They were also increasingly required by law to impose or at the least, strongly push multiple new procedures, questioning and optional vaccinations. The results? More mandates even for the normal, healthy, rule-following families. Asking a sheltered 10-year old about graphic sexual possibilities at the hand of a relative or family friend literally causes anxiety and stress on the child.

I do understand the need for some “idiot-proof” rules. I understand that doctors are just too overwhelmed anymore to take the time to get to know their patients and families, especially those physicians who only see you annually. I understand that many are inconvenienced so many can be saved. Whether it’s the tedious TSA security checks thanks to terrorists or deeply disturbing medical questionnaires given to innocent 10-years olds thanks to the depraved, psychotic abusers in this world, we are forced to participate in activities we are not responsible for.

A few weeks ago, I came across news that pregnant Kat Von D had decided not to vaccinate her son once he is born. The only reason that I even recognized her name is because earlier this year I splurge-purchased on the best concealer brush that I have ever used, created by Kat Von D (Lock It). I knew the name Kat Von D from Sephora, but never heard of the show, LA Ink. There was a Twitter flurry of criticism with endless calls to ban use of her cosmetics line. I really didn’t understand why Kat Von D’s decision was anyone’s business but her own.One of the arguments presented amid the insanity on social media was that her child going to Kindergarten may affect the other children in the class, as perhaps KVD’s son would carry something (a germ? a disease?) as a result of not being immunized. But even that argument is weak, as if you are pro-vaccinations (and in full disclosure, all my children were vaccinated) your child is protected. It was rare to see any post where someone actually cared about the well-being of the child, it was really about their opinion.

Chatter about microchipping humans and Kat Von D’s lack of immunizing her child have quieted down. While microchipping humans is rare (and has since moved to hands instead of arms), it is out there: CBS News. Last year, The New York Times also did a piece on companies potentially microchipping their employees: Microchip Implants for Employees?

Whether new parents or those of us with college-aged kids, this parenting business is a marathon. We are fully responsible for choosing wisely for our own, but I am personally trying to get better about accepting others’ decisions. We’re already tired from the daily activity, we don’t need to stress ourselves further by what our neighbor is doing.

If a parent wants to go against the grain every once in a while, whether because they are young and inexperienced or older and worn out, I’m going to try harder to respect their decisions. But, like most Moms, I have a limit for my nest (not yours) and I draw the line at microchips.

Family Silhouette Image: freepik.com

Click on KVD brush image to see product. 

Is It Fair That We are Judged by How We Look?

GothThis is a question that I have asked my college students over the years.  Inevitably, they will argue that it is absolutely “not fair!” and without my intervention, end up sharing countless examples of when they, themselves immediately judged by physical appearance.  Therefore, determining that while “unfair”, it is unequivocally, indisputably, inevitable.

Recently, my 16 year old daughter and I were swimsuit shopping for spring break.  She is a small, petite, clean cut girl with long strawberry blonde hair and a spunky spirit.  When we approached the fitting room desk, my daughter asked the 50-something female attendant how many items my daughter could bring into the room.  She cheerfully glanced at our mini mountain, totaling about 15 items, smiled, and said, “Go ahead, just bring everything out when you are done.”  My daughter entered the room, and I sat down waiting for the fashion show to begin.

Four minutes later, a youthful looking grandma along with her granddaughter, surely my daughter’s age, and also quite petite, approached the same fitting room attendant with her pile of items and held it up to the woman.  The woman curtly sniped, “you can only take in 6 at a time. How many do you have?” The young girl answered, “7”. The woman took the pile out of her hands, counted the clothes one by one out loud for all to hear, until reaching the number 8 with a huff.  Handing her back only six of the items and practically tossing the girl a fitting room tag, she announced that the rest would be held at the desk.

The woman clearly showed preferential treatment to my daughter.  Why?  Not because I was with my daughter, as the other teenager had her grandma with her.  My guess is the teen’s outer appearance.  Multiple nose and earrings, jet black dyed hair, with wide sections dyed platinum, black nail polish, a sour frown, and Goth clothing greeted the fitting room lady.

I’m honest enough to tell you that I certainly judge on one’s exterior, most often when my children are involved.  Evaluation in this depraved society is essential for our safety.  By external appearance, we can draw countless conclusions about someone.  Many will be accurate, and a few utterly wrong.  Either way, the pre-vacation shopping experience left me humbled. 

As a woman who has judged wrongfully and endured judgment, I’m still training myself to be cautious before labeling and stereotyping.  That doesn’t stop me from staring (hopefully, inconspicuously!) if someone has decided to cover themselves in ink, piercings, and adorn their clothing with a variety of clinking, shiny chains – like a toddler, I’m mesmerized.  Regardless, giving someone a chance to reveal who they really are through conversation is always my goal.

The dark-dressed girl slinked away into a fitting room, without a smile, and I couldn’t help but think that I wouldn’t want to be yet another person contributing to her already sad expression. Insecurities exist in all of us, whether or not they are concealed in neat, well-groomed packages.  If teens experience enough unfair treatment, they have a natural tendency to believe they’re not worthy of good treatment.

Photo: drprem.com

Throwback Thursday article from 5/6/2013

Christian Differences

Evangelical Christians do not usually make the sign of the cross across their body. Catholics always do. My husband and I grew up doing so until we changed churches after we were married. Recently, as we prayed over a holiday meal, the people eating at our home thought it wasn’t “right” that we don’t make the sign of the cross. I don’t mind if they do, but it bothered them that we don’t…

Someone I met does not watch the television show Modern Family because they believe that their viewership rating will add to the promotion of the acceptance of homosexuality. This same person supports a profession that requires all women to wear to short skirts and plunging necklines.

One person believes that making copies of rented or purchased DVD’s or CD’s is theft and is absolutely against God’s law. Another devoted follower of Christ burns copies of everything she can get her hands on.

Why is there so much diversity among Christians regarding right and wrong?

The answer often lies in the interpretation of God’s Word. The Ten Commandments are familiar enough, but the interpretation varies. The same holds true about the entire Bible. People – right or wrong – cultivate their own perception, or develop their own meaning or explanation of the Word. God leads our understanding. Our longevity in the faith can also affect our convictions of right and wrong, and how we interpret His Word.

Before casting judgment upon another regarding what’s “wrong”, it’s probably wise to actually read the Bible. Second, it’s just my humble opinion, but maybe we should let God speak to us individually. Conduct that feels right for someone at one point in their life, might not be okay for that exact same person after five more years following God. Sometimes it takes years for a person to mentally undo all the mistruths they believed since youth, or break their habits which were well-established prior to accepting Christ.

Obviously, I’m not supporting blatant, intentional sin here, nor am I promoting the false teaching that “all paths lead to God”. There is only one way to the Father and that is through His Son. I’m just saying that people are at different points in their spiritual walk, and as long as they are moving in the right direction, why cast profound judgment upon them, solidifying what many already think about us:  that we are intolerant?

As we walk across the landscape of life with our fellow sojourners on this planet, let’s become the light, not the dimmer switch. May we focus on our own sincere walk with Christ.

Downside Up

The essential theme of Downside Up by Tracey Mitchell is to deeply believe in our personal value despite varying forms of rejection.  Although we all experience rejection at some point, Mitchell determines for her readers to “not revisit the pain of rejection”.  Instead, she reminds us that “you are worthy of relationships where you feel loved, treasured and appreciated.”   

Mitchell covers relationships and a host of other practical, real-life examples where rejection can gain a strong hold on your mind and negatively affect your future.  She emphasizes being “selective in what you hear and speak.” Words are indeed powerful, and we should be cautious about who we listen to.

The book’s greatest strength is its foundation upon biblical truth.  If we strive to see ourselves as God sees us, we will be overcomers when faced with rejection.  This does not come naturally and requires “self-talk” that reflects His love and absolute truth. The end of each chapter contains Chapter Principles, Words of Wisdom, a Power Quote and Plan of Action.  These are worthwhile sections to read and meditate upon.

In summary, I’m not sure that the title of the book effectively previews the contents.  The writing is much more than “transforming rejection into your golden opportunity”. That tag almost sounds like a business proposal.  Instead, it’s a deeply meaningful read about a regular renewing of our minds, living life intentionally and growing in self-acceptance.  Mitchell shows us that if we practice her suggestions, our lives will be richer and more satisfying as a result. Thanks to BookSneeze for providing me with a copy of this text in exchange for my honest review. 

Is It Fair That We Are Judged By How We Look?

Miley Cyrus Goth Look
Miley Cyrus Goth Look

This is a question that I have asked my college students over the years.  Inevitably, they will argue that it is absolutely “not fair!” and without my intervention, end up sharing countless examples of when they, themselves immediately judged by physical appearance.  Therefore, determining that while “unfair”, it is unequivocally, indisputably, inevitable.

Recently, my 16 year old daughter and I were swimsuit shopping for spring break.  She is a small, petite, clean cut girl with long strawberry blonde hair and a spunky spirit.  When we approached the fitting room desk, my daughter asked the 50-something female attendant how many items my daughter could bring into the room.  She cheerfully glanced at our mini mountain, totaling about 15 items, smiled, and said, “Go ahead, just bring everything out when you are done.”  My daughter entered the room, and I sat down waiting for the fashion show to begin.

Four minutes later, a youthful looking grandma along with her granddaughter, surely my daughter’s age, and also quite petite, approached the same fitting room attendant with her pile of items and held it up to the woman.  The woman curtly sniped, “you can only take in 6 at a time. How many do you have?” The young girl answered, “7”. The woman took the pile out of her hands, counted the clothes one by one out loud for all to hear, until reaching the number 8 with a huff.  Handing her back only six of the items and practically tossing the girl a fitting room tag, she announced that the rest would be held at the desk.

The woman clearly showed preferential treatment to my daughter.  Why?  Not because I was with my daughter, as the other teenager had her grandma with her.  My guess is the teen’s outer appearance.  Multiple nose and earrings, jet black dyed hair, with wide sections dyed platinum, black nail polish, a sour frown, and Goth clothing greeted the fitting room lady.

I’m honest enough to tell you that I certainly judge on one’s exterior, most often when my children are involved.  Evaluation in this depraved society is essential for our safety.  By external appearance, we can draw countless conclusions about someone.  Many will be accurate, and a few utterly wrong.  Either way, the pre-vacation shopping experience left me humbled.  As a woman who has judged wrongfully and endured judgment, I’m still training myself to be cautious before labeling and stereotyping.  That doesn’t stop me from staring (hopefully, inconspicuously)! If someone has painfully decided to cover themselves in ink, piercings, and adorn their clothing with a variety of clinking, shiny chains – like a toddler, I’m mesmerized.  Regardless, giving someone a chance to reveal who they really are through conversation is always my goal.

The dark-dressed girl slinked away into a fitting room, without a smile, and I couldn’t help but think that I wouldn’t want to be yet another person contributing to her already sad expression. Insecurities exist in all of us, whether or not they are concealed in neat, well-groomed packages.  If teens experience enough unfair treatment, they have a natural tendency to believe they’re not worthy of good treatment.

The last thing I want to do is assume that a person’s black exterior is automatically the color of the heart residing on the inside.